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Now,
the second day in, from the window of the commandeered cab,
soundly drunk and outrageously happy, he surveyed the swirling
morass, the maelstrom of perpetually congested Reforma Boulevard.
There were all sorts of nightmares to be scrutinized here,
countless strata: tragic trumpets drilling through thick air,
smothering yellow smoke settling on the strange little suede-colored
people, each of whom, if you cared to key in on it, had some
serious flaw or another; an oozing burn, disproportionately
large ears, a lousy toupee, a gimp leg, a missing finger,
a clinging, deformed, half-naked child sucking on a way-ripe
mango. Who the fuck were these people, anyway? That's what
Cubby wanted to know. Quality was the problem down here, not
productivity: there was tons of street industry; bicycle carts
spinning through traffic, miniature chewing-gum salesmen asking
a peso per pop, a fire-eating clown- faced windshield-washing
beggar in a counterfeit CK Jeans cap, who at night became
a window- smashing robber... Idiotically inappropriate census
figures insured that here in reality-land, no job was too
menial, no pay scale too obscene; everywhere, somebody with
a rag or a squeegee was cleaning something; actually, they
were mostly cleaning the same things over and over and over
again, and yet in the aggregate, in their wake, there was
a profound sensation of filthiness. Not so remarkable, actually.
Because the function of these cleaners was to work, not to
make things clean. You could reach a similar conclusion over
an anthill, watching particle-shifting vermin skittering mindlesslessly,
purposefully, through losing battles against grains of sand.
On that level, both human and insect, the real insanity was
the fear, not of failure, but of final subsumation, of total
disappearance into the concept, which far from being irrational,
was probably inevitable.
So,
where was the significance in considering, over the course
of a day or two, ten thousand complicated individuals you
would never see again? That's what else he wanted to know.
Cubby's
mood was more fragile than he'd admit, and he cackled at the
Latin freak-show with growing uneasiness until his smile went
suddenly bankrupt. An old stake truck filled with leafy green
things and dour, shiny-trousered campesinos had edged suddenly
in beside the taxi, cutting off his view of the sidewalk;
and on the truck's door, opposite his face, a foot away, someone
had written 'Chucky Ley' in small, careful orange letters.
He scribbled down the weird, gringo name in his Franklin Planner;
then deflated. The juxtaposition of events, possibly unrelated:
the swarm of fucked-up mortals, the industrious preschoolers,
the palm trees, 'Chucky Ley' in small, careful orange letters,
caused such a melancholic eruption of emotion within Cubby
Diller that he broke down and wept while the cab driver eyed
him carefully in the mirror.
Later,
on the television in the hotel room, there was a local channel
running snapshots of missing persons, all sorts of missing
persons, all ages, all social castes; evidentially, nobody
in Mexico was immune to sudden disappearance. He watched in
bleary fascination, for an hour or more. The Missing Persons
Channel. What were the demographics? Either you were missing,
and knew it, or missed someone, and knew it; either way, how
did this help? Still, face after face appeared, reappeared
if you stayed tune long enough, some of desperately pretty
teenaged girls with glittering teeth, whose potential for
a new life of sexual bondage was heady and erotic; some of
little kids, who for all he knew, were bought and sold like
ripe mangoes in the fairs and markets; some of middle-aged,
out-of-focus, unshaven men such as never seemed to go missing
in the states, if you believed the milk cartons; some were
drawings of people who had vanished and looked like nine of
the next ten strangers you'd pass on the boulevard; but all
had genuine lives, individual cycles, distinct circulatory
systems, private disgraces, personal passions, dreams, talents,
and most had three or four names that somebody had, with circumspection,
bestowed upon them once, not suspecting how badly it would
turn out. Now, that was the biggest mystery; that was the
sort of realization that made Cubby want to vomit. And he
couldn't get enough of it. He jotted down the funny, polysyllabic
Mexican names with a Jena pen on a Jena pad. He drank tequila
until he fell asleep, and when he woke up, the grainy, unfocused,
funny-named individuals were still flashing across the screen
in an endless loop, each one of them still MIA; he'd been
out cold for at least six hours, during which, not one of
those poor people had turned up.
He'd
drained the minibar of all the brown liquor, for which he
had a preference but not a requirement, and now, he started
in on the rums and vodkas, then polished off the Tecates and
Sols along with the remains of the American Burger that room
service had delivered prior to calling it a night, and by
the time the rest of the hotel was stirring, showering, tightening
ties, setting out, hitting the breakfast buffet, Cubby was
bombastically boiled and unreasonably ecstatic, ready for
another round.
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